Help me
by Dr.Weirdo69
Summary: I-I'm dizzy… I don't think I can hold on any longer. I lost a lot of blood. Everything is starting to go black… Someone please help… - Fate


Who would have thought that baking with my wife and my daughter could be so problematic? It becomes even more cumbersome when the aunt joins in with the fun. If there is a god out there please… PLEASE get me out of this situation and fast!

**~xXoXx~**

Nanoha and I immediately rushed to Vivio's room due to the crying that was happening… with me of course being half naked since my wife wanted some…

Sexy time.

Anyway, as we opened the door Nanoha and I saw a crying Vivio on her bed sitting and crying.

"What's wrong Vivio?" I asked.

"Fate-mama…." Vivio replied, ready to cry again.

"Vivio~ We can't understand you if you cry some more, ok? So please just tell us what's wrong." Nanoha soothed.

"Un… I want…." Vivio trailed off.

"You want….?" My wife and I both echoed.

"Chocolate p—cake." I… could've sworn I heard _pie_in that sentence but….. Nevermind.

"Ehhh? Where are we supposed to get that at this time of night? And… I ran out of a lot of ingredients for that…." Nanoha asked me.

I immediately thought of Hayate simply because she cooks and bakes like my aweso—my wife here. "Should we try calling Hayate?"

"Good idea!" Nanoha replied.

I immediately flashed and M2D communications screen and dialled for Hayate. Nanoha worked on soothing Vivio who was still sniffling. Really though… why a cake at this time of the night? The only other time something this unreasonable happened was when I got back from a three month long mission…. Nevermind.

"What is it Fate-chan? It better be good if you're going to wake me up at this time of the night!" Hayate said groggily.

"Uhhh…. Errr…. Do you have ingredients for making chocolate cake?" I asked.

Hayate paused and widened her eyes. "… So it has come to this…." She mumbled.

"Huh…?"

"I have all the ingredients to make chocolate cake~" She sang.

"Ahh! Could you bring them here please?" I said gratefully.

"Sure! No problem~ I'll be over there in a few minutes. Toodles~"

Hayate hung up on me and well… I had to update Vivio. I went back to Vivio's room to check up on the two and… Vivio was still sniffling from the crying earlier and Nanoha was laughing defeatedly.

_Fate-chan~ if we don't bake her cake….._

Hayate is coming over… so hang in there just a little bit.

And so Fate busied herself with getting her blouse back on and getting Vivio to calm down.

**~xXoXx~**

"Was that Testarossa?" Signum asked.

Hayate grinned… evilly. So evil… it gave Signum, Vita, Shamal, and Zafira chills. "Yes… so it seems they need to bake something tonight A.S.A.P~"

"I hope Fate-san doesn't die of bloodloss tonight…." Shamal says nervously.

"~" Hayate laughed while rubbing her hands together.

Shamal immediately knew that she would have an anemic patient tomo—later this morning and Signum knew that she would have to cancel her spar with her rival. The two of them immediately felt sorry for the blonde.

Poor girl.

**~xXoXx~**

Nanoha immediately went for the front door to immediately get started with the cake. Vivio tugged me and said, "I want to help…"

I looked at Vivio and smiled. "Let's help."

Nanoha and Hayate were already separating ingredients when we arrived in the kitchen. Vivio immediately rushed to her aunt and hugged her.

"Auntie~ I want to help!" She said cheerily.

"Hai~~~" Hayate replied happily…. _too_ happily.

"Then Fate-chan~ could you _crack and beat_three eggs?"

I thought… I heard something… _something_. Maybe it's just my imagination?

…

I hope….

"S-Sure…"

"What's wrong Fate-san? It's just _cracking and beating_eggs…." Hayate added.

Oh god… I really hope it's just me imagining things.

"N-N-N-N-Nothing! Hahahaha…" I laughed nervously.

**~xXoXx~**

Too bad for our 19 year old blonde. It's just the beginning of a _beautiful_baking session in the morning. Nanoha didn't know the half of it, Fate didn't have a clue, Hayate was being evil, Vivio was being Vivio.

… Maybe.

"Now we have to mix the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients until they get _moist_." Hayate said.

"Ahh! Fate-san could you _melt_ this chocolate so we can make the icing while I work on _whipping_ this _cream_ here~!" Nanoha said eerily.

A part of Fate is still in the stage of denial whilst all this horny-ness was going on and a part of our beloved blonde was DYING literally due to nosebleeds which she had to recover from immediately. However, the two brunettes were not going to stop making these green jokes until the blonde collapses.

"Ne, ne, Nanoha-mama, Auntie Hayate… what's wrong with Fate-mama? Does she have colds? She keeps wiping her nose." The small child noticed.

"Ahh… Fate-mama is just working hard!" Hayate replied.

"Yeah! Working hard indeed! She's putting her all into this so we can come up with a delicious cake~" Nanoha added.

Somehow… Fate felt that they weren't talking about the cake at all; rather, they were talking about her struggle on not losing blood. Fate decided to concentrate more on melting the chocolate.

Sadly… the brunettes weren't letting up either.

"Nanoha you're amazing! You _whipped_ that _cream_ in just two minutes!" Hayate said, honestly astonished and scheming… very… scheming.

"I am and _expert baker_ after all~" Nanoha said proudly.

"I bet that's not the _only_ thing you're expert at~" Hayate happily added.

Meanwhile… Fate was just blushing while staring at the chocolate she just put in the fridge to cool, letting her nose bleed onto her apron, but she had to recover. She thanked the gods out there that her apron was red and wiped her nose.

By this time our blonde looked a little pale now.

A certain song about being bad but being perfectly good at it with sex in the air they didn't care they loved the smell of it come to mind.

… ANYWAY.

"And here comes the boring part… well… maybe not… we get to watch the cake _rising_." Nanoha mused.

"Ahh! Fate-chan you can take out the chocolate now. We don't want it to freeze again." Hayate says.

"Y-Yeah…" Fate replies, hiding her bleeding nose.

I think our blonde is reaching her limit.

"Fate-mama you don't look too well." Vivio says, concerned.

"I'm fine Vivio just… a little tired…"

No kidding.

**~xXoXx~**

I-I'm dizzy… I don't think I can hold on any longer. I lost a lot of blood. Everything is starting to go black…

Someone please help…

**~xXoXx~**

Fortunately for our blonde she has time to recover from her blood loss through 30 minutes waiting time in order for the cake to bake. Fate gulped down a glass of milked and felt really refreshed.

… Unfortunately… the two brunettes were still at it.

"All right~ Slicing finished~ Fate-chan why don't you _spread_ the chocolate icing on the cake so we can put in the decorations~" Nanoha sing-songed.

Fate… was as red as… whatever. She was blushing so hard and wiping her nose with her third previously white handkerchief.

Fate's hands were shaking so bad Nanoha had to take over though. "Mou, Fate-chan you don't have to be so _messy_ while _dong this_ you know."

Nanoha skillfully spreads the chocolate icing in each layer and eventually the whole cake.

"Woooow! Nanoha-mama is amazing!" Vivio cheered.

"Auntie Hayate's turn to show-off~" Hayate announced. She actually did show-off though… who knew she could handle her crea—decorate the cake like that.

"Auntie Hayate is amazing too!"

"It's now time to give you a slice~" Nanoha says in triumph.

**~xXoXx~**

The things I do for Vivio... Oh well… at least she's happily eating cake.

But….

I think I need to call Shamal.

**~xXoXx~**

Baking is fun they said. It would be delicious they said.

Meanwhile...

"Ne, ne, Auntie you said you were going to treat me to ice cream if I did this..." Vivio complained.

"Hai, hai~ I'll get you some~" Hayate replied happily.

* * *

**A/N:**

8DDDD I was totally high on caffeine while writing this thing so typos might very well be present please do mention them in reviews if you see any x_x;;;;; Vivio and Hayate are so evil... x.x; I was laughing like a maniac whilst writing this... so yeah... I was not in a perfectly reasonable state of mind. 8D

Flames shall be used for cooking omelet rice~

This fic has been prescribed by the doctor!


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